wibbley's gourmet hamburgers

So what does one do with a burger that does nothing? It doesn’t do anything criminal. It doesn’t do anything enlightening. It just is, like culinary driftwood in the sea. How does one judge such a thing?

Ok. So Wibbley’s Gourmet Hamburgers. Let’s cut right to the chase here folks. First off, there is nothing “gourmet” going on here. Standard toppings, standard beef, stock buns, and plain old genericness at its finest. And please don’t mistake this for bad. But in commonly understood english where my fluency lays, this meets no definition of gourmet.

My Wibbley’s Gourmet Hamburger was more generic, if anything. A normal beef patty, shredded lettuce (from a bag), loads of ok pickles, an ok tomato, and some decent mayo-esque dressing between the buns. There was no onion, which elsewhere surely would have made the cut on a gourmet burger. And having made the choice to forego cheese and bacon, both were marked absent. A relatively rare move in my world, but not every burger every time requires as much. Besides, I’m not sure it would have mattered much anyways.

In a word, Wibbley’s is simply burger driftwood in the sea of the burger world.

+ We give hooves up for being a mile ahead of satans infamous burger circle (McDonalds, Burger King, and Jack in the Box).

– We give hooves down for being boring, ok, and audaciously ungourmet. An untoasted bun, bagged lettuce, no onion, and oh. Yawn.

The Wibley’s Gourmet hamburger

Rating: ★★☆☆☆